Tea Leaves
with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
*swish*
Lavender: Do you hear something ringing?
Parvati: What? There's nothing ringing.
Lavender: Really? Maybe you should take a look in this cup then.
Bell
Parvati: Ha ha, very clever. This month your ears will be ringing a lot. You'll have done something wonderful that will have the whole school talking about you!
Lavender: Or perhaps you'll do something horrible that's worth gossiping about!
Parvati: Er... perhaps. But if you can, you might want to do something wonderful rather than horrible.
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Taurus
*swish*
Lavender: Speaking of gossip, there hasn't been much of it lately.
Parvati: Then you should do something yourself to get the rumors flowing!
Lavender: Yeah right, like I'd want people talking about me. And anyway, I always keep my secrets a secret.
Parvati: I'll bet you a galleon that this sneakoscope says otherwise.
Pocket Sneakoscope
Lavender: Secret keepers, beware! Your friends will be checking to see whether or not you're trustworthy this month.
Parvati: Can you keep a secret? If not, try avoiding your friends for a while.
Lavender: Try avoiding this pesky sneakoscopes too. I know I will...
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Gemini
*swish*
Lavender: *looks into the cup* I think this prediction is just as hungry as I am.
Parvati: Already? But we just started. Lunch isn't even being served yet.
Lavender: But that's why it's called a prediction. The cup is predicting how I'll feel in about ten more readings.
Seven-Course Meal
Parvati: Wow, what an elaborate meal. This cup really went all out...
Lavender: Never fear my hungry readers! This month you will be eating delicious food well beyond your wildest imaginations! Course after course of sumptuous food will be available to appease your voracious appetites!
Parvati: Why is it that you always sound most articulate when you're talking about food?
Lavender: Are you insulting my intelligence when I'm not hungry?
Parvati: It's best if you interpret it as if I'm complimenting you when you are hungry.
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Cancer
*swish*
*KABOOM*
Parvati: Geez, did the Common Room just blow up AGAIN?
Lavender: That was the 13th time this month! Sounds like our Prefects are doing a bang-up job this Gryfftoberfest!
Parvati: Then I guess this teacup prediction is just for them.
Rubble
Parvati: This month our Common Room will be reduced to a pile of rubble. We've celebrated Gryfftoberfest for a full 31 days and all that's left now are fiery bits of destruction.
Lavender: You say this like it's a negative thing. Don't you realize that Gryfftoberfest is all about unrestricted, destructive fun?
Parvati: No.
Lavender: ...you're still made that I drank all of your butterbeer last night, aren't you?
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Leo
*swish*
Lavender: I-I- *ah-choo* I think I've... *ah-choo* got a-a-ah-choo!
Parvati: A cold?
Lavender: Yeah. *sniffles* Can you hand me a tissue?
Parvati: *passes her the tea cup*
Lavender: Very funny.
Tissue
Parvati: We regret to inform you that you'll come down with a nasty cold this month. Make sure to stay warm and drink plenty of fluids.
Lavender: And make sure to have lots of tissues nearby. You never know when you'll be in need of one and your friend tries to offer you a tea cup instead.
Parvati: *snickers*
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Virgo
*splash*
Lavender: Whoops.
Parvati: Hi. Did you just spill the tea all over the table?
Lavender: Yes. But I can't help it if I sneezed while I was holding the cup! Let's just pour another cup.
Parvati: But we're low on tea and we won't have enough for the other readings if we pour a new cup. Let's just try to read the tea leaves off of the table.
Leaves Scattered on the Surface of a Pond
Lavender: It has a poetic sound to it, doesn't it?
Parvati: Sounds more like you're looking at spilled tea leaves sitting in unswished tea.
Lavender: Er, right. This month, you'll see leaves scattered on the surface of a pond. That means that fall is finally here!
Parvati: For a botched cup swishing, that prediction was kind of nice.
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Libra
*swish*
Parvati: Hear how the tea went "swish" instead of "splash"? That's how tea leaves readings are supposed to sound.
Lavender: But a nice "splash" helps to break the monotony even once and a while.
Parvati: What kind of reasoning is that?
Lavender: Well excuse me for trying to keep things fun.
Parvati: And excuse me for wanting to keep the tea leaves in the tea cup.
Sanity (spelled out in tea leaves)
Lavender: Why, I do believe there's sanity in this cup. Did anybody lose theirs?
Parvati: Maybe you.
Lavender: Or maybe this sanity belongs to *everyone* who participated in Gryfftoberfest.
Parvati: With all of the wild partying, Common Room-destroying, butterbeer chugging fun that we had this month, you'd think the tea cup holding our lost sanity would have been bigger.
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Scorpio
*splash*
Parvati: You spilled it again? No more tea cups for you until you get over your cold.
Lavender: Sorry, but I can't help it!
Parvati: I'm not blaming you, but we can't waste anymore tea. Let's just read it off the rug.
Lavender: *tries to read the tea leaves* ...I think it's a rug.
Parvati: Are you sure you're looking at the tea leaves and not the rug itself?
Lavender: I think so, but it's hard to tell since the rug is the same color as the tea leaves...
Rug
Parvati: What to say about a rug...
Lavender: This month you'll be trying on a tupee.
Parvati: It's not that kind of rug, Lav!
Lavender: I know, but I thought it was funny.
Parvati: *rolls eyes* Next!
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Sagittarius
*SWISH!!!*
Lavender: Bwahahaha, that was totally your fault, Parv!
Parvati: It's not like I dropped it. I just over-swished the tea.
Lavender: So you're telling me that you meant to swish every last tea leaf out of the cup?
Parvati: Did you ever stop to think that maybe all of the tea leaves were supposed to be swished out of the tea cup? Maybe the prediction is supposed to be done with an empty cup.
Lavender: You really think so?
Parvati: I do.
Nothing
Lavender: Then I guess nothing will be happening to Sagittariuses this month.
Parvati: No no, not like that. Like this:
Invisible Friend
Parvati: You'll make an invisible friend this month! The two of you will instantly hit it off and become best friends forever. Make sure to show off your new friend to everyone!
Lavender: If I were a Sagittarius given these two prediction choices, I'd rather have nothing happen than the invisible friend.
Parvati: Invisible people were mean to you when you were little, weren't they?
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Capricorn
*swish*
Parvati: OK, no more mistakes. We have to do the rest of these readings perfectly.
Lavender: And fast, because I'm getting hungry.
Parvati: Just a few more to go. Let's try to write up the predictions quickly.
Parchment
Parvati: Ever considered writing as a hobby? If not, now is the time to try it.
Lavender: Well one way or another, you'll be going through a lot of parchment this month. I bet you've got a lot of unfinished homework piling up, don't you?
Parvati: Have you tried asking yourself that question, Lav?
Lavender: I try not to since I know I won't like the answer.
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Aquarius
*swish*
Lavender: Oh right, quidditch season is starting soon!
Parvati: Sure is. Did you see something in the cup to remind you of quidditch?
Lavender: No not really, I was just thinking about random things and quidditch came to mind.
Parvati: ...so then what's in the cup?
Lady Bug
Parvati: Ooooh, how lucky!
Lavender: This month you'll find more success in everything you try.
Parvati: Maybe this is a good sign for Gryffindor's quidditch team. We'll be bringing home the Cup this year!
Lavender: Lions for the Cup! Go Gryffindor!
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Pisces
*crack*
Parvati: Well, so much for not making any more mistakes with our readings.
Lavender: Uh oh. Did we just break Professor Trelawney's favorite tea cup?
Parvati: I think so. What should we do?
Lavender: Can we just pretend that Neville was in here and he broke it?
Parvati: He doesn't even take divination anymore!
Leaves Scattered In the Wind
Lavender: Let's be like leaves scattered in the wind.
Parvati: So basically, we should scatter?
Lavender: Yup. Let's go to lunch and pretend that this didn't happen.
Parvati: I'm all for that idea. Let's go!
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